Today, I said goodbye to Trever, my second husband, father of my Sarah. He was diagnosed with an agressive form of brain cancer in 2007 on his birthday. The disease is known as Glioblastoma Multiforma, a grade 4 Astrocitoma. He is now staying at his mom's where he is being cared for and kept comfortable. It appears he is tired of the struggle and is no longer fighting. Communicating with him is difficult. He holds onto my hand. He looks into my eyes. I cannot know his thoughts for they never make it to his lips. He watches his girls. He ate his wife's delicious lasagna tonight. I shared a couple of pictures of him back when we were together and a couple pictures of Trista when she was about Hayley's age. He loved life. He loves his family. Here's to Trever. May his last few days be good days spent with his girls he loves so much, his mom Donna, his wife Danielle and his daughters Trista, Sarah and Hayley.


My Dad

My Dad...

is awesome! He was my "knight in shining armor" when I was growing up. My heart belonged to my Dad first. He is awesome! He is my Dad!

My Dad ... is getting older and having a difficult time taking care of himself. I don't see him as an 81 year-old-man. I see him as my Dad! But 81 year-old men move slower, remember less, take frequent naps.

My Dad ... isn't able to drive anymore. He is losing his independence. He has been scammed and relinquished of his hard earned money. He doesn't eat much anymore. He doesn't get outside enough. He doesn't get many visitors. Life is fairly uneventful as of late.

My Dad ... I love my Dad! My Dad is awesome! He taught me not to cheat at games because there wasn't any challenge to playing a game if you're gonna cheat. He taught me to be tolerant because he wants to be tolerated (and he's not a difficult man!) He taught me to love others and to be mindful of those who are less fortunate than I am.

When I was a teenager we invited friends and co-workers to our Thanksgiving Dinner who couldn't be with their families. This was at a time when we were estranged from some of our family members. To this day I always have an extra place at my Thanksgiving table. Anyone is welcome. Because I would want to be welcome in someone's home when/if I am alone.

We have shared some very difficult times and are better off because of them. For now, we appreciate more and require less. We love more and judge less. I am a better person because of my Dad. I know that no matter what, I can start over if I have to and be just fine. My Dad loves me and believes in me and he always will.

I love you Dad!


U OF U ROCKS the Sugarbowl


Plan for 2009

I found my plan for 2009!

“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.”
~Deepak Chopra, Indian Ayurvedic Physician and Author
I have a friend. A friend who is happy and content %99.9 of the time. It's not that he's rich, or doesn't have to work for a living. He has found a comfort zone. Life isn't always perfect (duh). He's a student, works during the day, has a delightful lady, good family and friends. He is very happy with his life.

That's where I want to be. My life does not have to be perfect in order for me to find joy. In fact, there is another saying about "finding joy in the journey." Of course! That's it!

I am official moving to the State of Bliss!

I wonder if they have a Div. of Corporations there. Hmmmmmmm ...


Happy New Years Day!

This is the first day of the new year, new month, first day of the rest of my life. Where will it take me? Where do I want to go? What shall I take with me? Decisions, decisions, decisions!

No matter. I will decide as I go. Or I can go with the flow to see where the tide takes me. Where ever that is, I will take you with me.

Now please understand, this is not necessarily procrastination. As a Pisces, it is my nature to change my mind, or not.

And here we go ...